Saiko and Shirazu get together and Mutsuki and Urie do too, and Sasaki comes home to the shock of his life.

Bless you.

“Mucchan.” Urie pouts at the base of the stairs. “I just want to kiss you over and over.”

Mutsuki blushes. “You can.”

Urie brushes back Mutsuki’s green locks to see his eyes better. “You wanna go to my room?”

Mutsuki nods, embarrassed but thrilled. 

—————————————————-

“Look at them.” Saiko peers around the corner to watch them head upstairs. “I’m so happy for them.”

“I am too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have earplugs to put in.” Shirazu pushes past.

“Hold on, hold on!” Saiko is offended. “You can’t possibly pass this up.”

“Pass what up?” Shirazu is thoroughly confused.

“These!” Saiko pushes her chest up.

“Oh – oh!” Shirazu looks both terrified and elated. “Saiko. Wait. Do you actually – you feel that way – about me?”

“Of course I do, silly.” Saiko smirks. “If you’d like to touch them, you can.”

“I, uh, I like you.” Shirazu splutters. 

Saiko wraps her arms around him. “Shall we go upstairs?”

——————————————————

Sasaki Haise whistles as he enters the Chateau. “Hello?”

He hears a shout from upstairs, and with a smile, heads towards the noise.

“Saiko, you’re amazing,” he hears Shirazu groan. She giggles in response.

Haise is now very confused. 

He backs towards Urie’s room. Sane, grumpy Urie.

“Urie, I love you,” Mutsuki’s voice sobs.

“I love you, Tooru,” Urie whispers. “And you have a beautiful body.”

Haise stumbles backwards and nearly throws himself down the stairs. He frantically dials Arima’s number. 

“Haise?”

“My squad is – they’re – engaging in activities of a – sensitive nature,” Haise squeaks.

“Hmm. Ui and Hairu should learn from them,” Arima muses.

“No!” Haise hangs up and calls Akira. “Akira! Help! My squad is making love!”

“All together?” Akira sounds scandalized.

“No.” Haise is appalled. “Urie and Mutsuki, and Saiki and Shirazu. I can hear them.”

“Oh. Hmm. About time.” Akira clears her throat. “Want earplugs?”