Dr. Kanou quivers with excitement. On Furuta Nimura’s suggestion, Ui Koori and Ihei Hairu are about to become his newest subjects.
They clink their glasses of soda together and take sips.
Kanou sweats with glee. They each think the other has provided the special sodas that appeared on their disks, and Koori’s inability to ask and Hairu’s trust are about to deliver the shock of their lives.
“Uh.” Ui falls first. His can spills onto the floor.
Hairu stands and tries to yell his name, but she too crumbles before she can finish.
When Ui awakes, something feels different. His hair is pink.
And he’s staring at himself.
“Am I dead?” he asks aloud, trying to ground himself in reality.
But no. He has – well – breasts now, and he’s wearing lacy tights. Damn are they uncomfortable.
“What am I?” Ui’s body screams.
“Hairu!” he yells in Hairu’s voice.
“Koori?” Hairu stares at the pink liquid oozing over the ground. “Collect it! We have to – this is some mad ghoul magic!”
She pauses. “Koori, why does your body have to go to the bathroom.”
“Don’t!” Ui yelps.
“Do I have a choice?” Hairu-as-Ui retorts.
“What do we do? Is this even real?” Ui wails.
Arima pokes his head in. “Is everything okay?”
“We just switched bodies,” Hairu-as-Ui says.
Arima raises an eyebrow. “Have fun.”
“He doesn’t believe me!”
“Why would he?” Ui-as-Hairu exclaims. He has to use the bathroom too, but no, he won’t – he won’t do that to Hairu.
“Maybe if we drink it again, we can reverse it.” Hairu shakes. “Otherwise, we’re doomed to have no one believe us.”
“Maybe we’ll just become more each other.” Ui scowls.
“Don’t be a naysayer!”
But Hairu’s idea fails, and after they’ve shipped the drink off to CCG’s lab, Arima announces their next mission.
“I’m sorry,” Hairu tells Ui as they ready their briefcases. “But I need to pee so much I’m going to get us all killed.”
Ui watches her stride into the bathroom with a red face.
Of course, she winks at him when he returns, and Ui wonders if maybe their solution isn’t to allow themselves to be killed by ghouls.
“Calm down. I’m not going to be an ass,” Hairu says in a small voice.
“I know.” He squeezes her hand, and they ready themselves for battle, though Ui does exchange their briefcases. No way they should risk fighting with unfamiliar quinques.
When they return, HIrako is eyeing them. “Why did you fight with each other’s quinque?”
“We switched bodies for a day,” Hairu-as-Ui tells him.
He scoffs, but the kids are giggling and quickly distract him by constructing their own body-switching ideas.
Hairu finds a message on Ui’s machine from a lab technician, detailing exactly what enzyme has switched. A quick google search turns up how to undo the binding mechanism, and she immediately races to the lab.
Ui hurries after her. “Aren’t we going to get in trouble for breaking in?”
“Shut it.” Hairu rolls her eyes and scrummages through the cabinets for the correct enzyme. “Here.”
She pours them shots – because of course she has shot glasses – and they each gulp down the chemicals.
When they awaken, Hairu cheers. “Ui, I’m back.”
Ui nods eagerly. He’s about to ask if he can kiss her now, when she shrieks, “Oh my god, didn’t you use the bathroom?!”
“I was trying to be a gentleman!”
Hairu sticks out her tongue. “Remind me to kiss you after.”
Watching from the shadows, Dr. Kanou has to admit he’s impressed.
Mercy and Magic 